Thank you Senator McCain

I probably don't have to tell you that these are dark days in the inner circle of Herr President Bush. Even Herr Rove has lost some of his boundless optimism. So a little ray of sunshine, as they say, is ever so welcome at a time like this. So for that, I would like to thank Senator John McCain.

You see my friends, there are precious few people in the world who are so devoted to Herr Bush, even if he treats them worse than a dog in South Carolina in 2000, oh wait, never mind that. Where was I? Oh, yes; there are precious few people with so little self respect that they would totally humiliate themselves in order to look even more clueless and totally disconnected from reality than Herr Bush. I am pleased to say that Senator McCain is one of those men. Little Mr. Sunshine as Herr Rove calls him. Herr Rove has nicknames for everyone I should add, much like Herr Bush. He calls Mr Gannon Mary which I still don't understand but I fear I am digressing again. Senator McCain has decided that things are going so well in Iraq that an American can just go there and stroll through a neighborhood as if there weren't a civil war going on. Even better, he decides to tell people this particular lunatic idea of his in a politely condescending manner and then point out that the American commanding general there does just that.

All of this nonsense brings a few chuckles at the Good Senator's expense. Well, from everyone except the general in question who is mildly concerned that someone in the White House will suggest that he do as the Good Senator suggested. But no, as much as we wanted to keep the joke going, and not coincidently, distract attention from certain issues relating to ex-district attorneys, we would not ask him to do that. And thus we thought the little joke and distraction was over. But then the Good Senator, in a completely inexplicable move, decides he would go for such a walk himself. After we stopped laughing, all of our efforts were directed at supporting his quest. If the Good Senator wants to walk through a market in Baghdad to pick up some fucking hummus instead of going to the Giant in Great Falls or wherever, then by God we are going to make it happen.

I must say, that once again, I learned from Herr Rove, who said that we should only have enough troops guarding the Good Senator to make him look like a fool, not enough to make us look like we were making him look like a fool. And so my plan to bomb Syria, Iran and China while the Good Senator was walking was abandoned in favor of a more subtle plan in which we only had a modest force protecting the Good Senator. Modest in the sense of more firepower than the Reich had when they went into the Ukraine. The Good Senator even did his part by TALKING about this as if people wouldn't think he was crazy. Herr Rove is still indisposed with laughter. And our friends in the media are chipping in with their own sarcasm about the Good Senator. Soon, we will have to get back to dealing with those bastards in Congress, but for a day or two, a respite from our troubles. Again, thank you Senator McCain.